8:39 PM | 0 comments
To start off, I'm not exactly sure why I didn't feel like this didn't fit in my tumblr. Probably because it's super personal and even though I'm nobody on tumblr, I consider my blog more personal and more close to my heart. With that said, let's get on with the story.
hurloween:To start off, I've been blessed with parents who I totally do this with.
For my Mom, some people are shocked when they hear that she gave up her career and her job to become a stay-at-home mom, but the best thing she ever did was become my best friend. There are times when she wishes I was better at good grades so that she could prove her working mother friends that she made the right choice to dedicate the rest of her life to taking care of me, but I think that the closeness we have has been more than enough reason to be a proud stay-at-home mother.
From my perspective, what helped us stay close was when she could vividly remember feelings she felt when she was my age. I'm not talking about the stereotypical "When I was your age, things were harder etc. etc. long shpeel about how we young'uns have it so easy now" but rather how happy she was to get her first major job and spent her second paycheck (first paycheck went directly to her parents; it's a form of respect) on brand name items: Balenciaga, Chanel, Louis Vuitton etc. Stories like her first crush, her first date, her first boyfriend, school camping trips, personal things like that. Not only did it succeed in bridging the gap that even though she is a mother now, she went through the exact same feelings and emotions when she was young so yes, she really does understand, but it also helped me realize that if there is anything that I'm struggling with, it's likely that she's gone through the same thing.
I'll be honest, sex was something we waited to talk about until I was well into my teenage years, but now we are at a point where, if I have a random question pop up, I can confidently bounce up and pitter patter to the TV room to ask her if she knows anything about it. I don't even bother Googling because it's just so much easier to talk to her than to hear strangers tell me stuff about it.
|I'm not kidding when I say I tell my mom everything, though lately I've taken into consideration her age and her anxiety issues so I try to keep the more stressful topics that may burden her to myself. Anything and everything goes. I've always been a really inquisitive kid. The moment something piques my interest is the moment I begin asking so many questions. The amount of what ifs would tire you out if you counted the amount of them I ask during dinner (blame PhillyD's TableTalk, and reddit. So much reddit), but for her she'll flat out say that it has never crossed her mind, and then I'll keep nudging until I get something out of her.
I think it's important for both daughters and sons to have a genuine interest in their parents. Your parents aren't out to get you, they aren't out to ruin you and give you stupid answers (but if they do, it's not their fault. They've just been misinformed and in no way should you blame them for it. Instead, gently correct them and use it as a conversation topic to further your connection with your parents). We read stories online all the time about grandparents who have lived amazing stories due to the war, and you should view your parents no different. Everyone has a story, and for some of us our parents are well into their 60's. That's years' worth of stories. Even if it seems conservative and traditional to you, there's always something you can take away from it, and that's the important thing to remember.
You may have noticed that I haven't mentioned my Dad much, but for him he's always been the strong silent type and I understand that. That didn't stop me from pestering him with questions when it seemed like he was in a good mood. It just takes a bit of timing it right, but he's had his own share of stories too. Though not nearly as intimate as conversations I have with Mom, I'd have never known that he was once a sweatshop worker as kid because he came from a poor family if I hadn't continue pressing him about it. I don't mean all in one day either; just a little prodding once every few days/weeks. To this day, his side of the family is still a little shadowy, in cases like how just last year I learned that he had a sister. Don't know her name or where she's located right now, but I know that these things are difficult for my Dad to come out and say so I've been patiently waiting. Sometimes I'll hint on it, other times I'll just shut up when Dad's talking and see if he is ready to bring it up himself.
Two totally different people, two totally different methods on learning more about where we come from and who they really were before we came into the picture. It's a bonding experience, as well as a learning experience. There may be moments when you have to accept that there may be some topics that are just best not mentioned, but don't let that get you down and keep on trying to understand your parents. I guarantee life will be much easier to live afterwards. A more developed understanding of the other person helps when you get into arguments because you have a general feeling of why they're reacting the way they are.
We all are the result of our past; don't hesitate to want to know a little bit more about your parents' past :)